Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I had run out of hope.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Why am I dreaming of people I've never seen before?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I've never read the book. What did Dorian Grey do that was so immoral and sinful?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

The sadness was still there.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?

And the sadness?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What ended your relationship with your best friend?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

A kid threw a stone at my car. I confronted his mom (who was nearby). She said, "You can't prove it was my son." How should I have reacted?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s still here.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What is it that gives a man who is a submissive cock sucker his most pleasure?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Why am I so jealous towards couples? Why am I tired of being single and feel my life is over?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

You are like me, then.

Has a conversation with someone who holds opposing political views ever caused you to change your own beliefs?

I was tired of fighting.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Be who you already are.

What were some of the unforgettable incidents from your school life?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.